So, it’s now October 2019 and some months since I wrote the piece about makeup, these are my reflections on the changes I have noticed. It is incredible liberating to no longer wake up and leave time to put on my makeup.
I have extra time to pray if I so wish, I am no longer focussed on myself. The time and effort I used to put into checking I had the right colour makeup to go with the outfit I was wearing. To the extent I would change my makeup if I changed my outfit. I can now cut smelly onions and simply wash my face under the tap without smearing my makeup. It was particularly noticeable swimming in the sea in the summer no worries at all. I hated the way makeup would look perfect when first put on but after 2 hours looked and felt terrible. I had reason the other day to walk through Debenhams past the makeup girls and wanted to shout at the top of my voice I am free from your selling techniques and competition to look my best. I have more money I dread to think how much I spent on makeup over the years.
My most important lesson came the other day when listening to a teaching on the most important commandments Jesus gave us Love the Lord your God with all your mind body and soul, and love your neighbour as yourself. Learning to love myself has been the most important lesson I am learning if I can’t love myself properly how can I love other people? I now quite happily look in the mirror. I also find it very strange to now look at old photos of me wearing makeup. I have asked Raymond to remove the ones that I am wearing bright red lipstick in as I find those very disturbing.
Friends think I look better without makeup fresher and younger.
I caught the bus the other day and a lady sat next to me, my first impression was an attractive lady a little older than me who was wearing full makeup. Talk got round to our weight and my love of cake, the saddest thing to hear was that she didn’t love herself couldn’t bear to look at herself and told herself regularly how unattractive she was( how very sad ) I replied that I was beautiful. This is not boasting but realising how God sees me. How very sad that most women do not get this revelation, God made me this way and I should celebrate his love which is echoed by my husband’s love for me.
So an update on the head covering. I am still slightly battling with the thought that maybe I need to be wearing it all the time so am always ready to pray but am concerned about falling into a legalistic point and not praying if my head is not covered which is totally wrong. We need to pray whenever we can, washing up walking or doing any chore can be done whilst praying.
We started going to a new prayer group the other week and I was faced with the dilemma to cover or not Raymond would have been happy with either decision, so it was mine to make. I put a scarf on in a hippy sort of gypsy way and asked his opinion at first, he tentatively said it looks a little strange. When I explained I didn’t want to make too much of a statement but wanted the group to get used to me before I bought up the subject of head covering, he was very supportive. No one noticed or commented so week one went well. Week two I bought up the subject to the host in the car, his reaction was astounding, the thought of submission was so strange to him. I was very surprised being a man I thought he would understand it. Raymond had to back me up which he did very quickly. We went through the whole scripture support for head covering 1 Corinthians 11. I still don’t think he fully understands but has agreed if it makes me happy I must do it. The thing is I can’t exactly explain the difference it makes but its huge. Spiritually it puts you in a different league. It’s like a super charge to your prayers and therefore I am contemplating covering my hair at all times.
Here is a scripture which I believe many married women have missed or not understood.
1 Peter 3:1-5 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
So we as women need to find out what the above scripture mean to us especially with relationship to our husbands and making decisions.
So now we have 1 Corinthians 11 and 1 Peter 3:1-5 that which show it is not a specific scripture in 1 Corinthians 11 just to that church which many Christians believe that it was. Even though just reading Chapter 11 it is obvious that it is for all Christian men and women. So we have two witnesses.
Submission does not come easily it’s and is an ongoing journey. It is easier knowing it’s a Godly command. It’s also easier because I trust Raymond completely, I know if he messes up God will deal with him and because he walks as close as he can to God he will be dealt with by God. I think my age and experience has taught me that to be quiet and gentle and modest are qualities to be admired. When I was young, I was very stubborn and somewhat bullish that is why I believe God has it right when he says we should marry when young it’s easier to mould to each other then. Any time I have forced the issue on things it has not gone well. An example of this was in South Africa I had my heart set on a nice rug. I duly marched Raymond to a rug shop, he did try hard to convince me we didn’t need it but I pushed and we left with a lovely afghan rug. It caused bad feeling between us, but I was stubborn and had got my way. Needless to say, ask me where that rug is now. I would have to reply in a mud hut in Africa you see what I had coveted so much did not come back to England with us. I could go on about the water buffalo sculpture we bought that I eventually burnt because it was an idol. It has never worked out well when I have pushed Raymond into anything. It has always worked out well when I have mentioned what I want listened to his reasoning and either changed my mind or Raymond has agreed with me and we have proceeded.
Anyone who knows me well, will know I am not a wall flower nor downtrodden or timid. Raymond and I talk all the time and he values my input, but ultimately only one person makes a decision and I will support Raymond all the way.
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